Why We Shouldn’t Care about Hickeys

This past week I had hickeys all over my neck and it was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life.

The first day they appeared I was able to wear a cropped turtle-neck and later in the day a scarf, but the following days I was not so lucky. It was warm out, so I just bit the bullet and wore tank tops, leaving my neck totally exposed.

For the most part it was fine and I could forget about them, but whenever I caught sight of myself in the mirror I would try to rub them away.

I don’t know why I thought that people cared what was happening on my neck. I have no professional position on campus, so I have no one to impress. I’m not relevant to most people, so I doubt most people looked twice at me, but I cared about people seeing them anyway.

Some people did notice though. Mostly my friends made comments, normally implying that they were curious about the events of my weekend. I was happy to share with them, I didn’t mind, but it’s the judgmental glances of others that concern me.

My concerns stem from the stigma that society places on hickeys. I feel that if I walk around campus with hickeys I could potentially be labeled a slut.

There is a lot of pressure on women to avoid the label of slut. Slut is associated with the word dirty and it is used to make women feel ashamed of their sexuality. This can then, from my experience, cause internalized sexism in women and a self-inflicted sexual repression.

The best way to combat this internalized sexism is through educating women on their rights and the modes of which society as instill sexist ideals into their own ideology.