The student news site of Dickinson College.

The Dickinsonian

Student Senate Less Popular Than Actual Senate, Zika Virus

Real+photo+taken+of+real+students+at+a+real+senate+meeting.+%23nofilter+%23nofilterneeded
Real photo taken of real students at a real senate meeting. #nofilter #nofilterneeded

Real photo taken of real students at a real senate meeting. #nofilter #nofilterneeded

Photo Courtesy of your mom

Photo Courtesy of your mom

Real photo taken of real students at a real senate meeting. #nofilter #nofilterneeded

Lanky Kong, Resident Cynic

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






 

Disclaimer: This article was part of our April 2016 satirical issue.

 

In a recent poll conducted on campus, Dickinson College Student Senate currently has a 2 percent approval rating, with votes including members of Student Senate.

In answer to the question, “Name one person on Student Senate,” only 3 percent of students were able to come up with an accurate response.

In response to this poor showing, Student Senate decided to change several rules for arbitrary reasons, just to gain the attention of the student populace.

Student Senate spokesman Don Glicker ’18 claimed, “Obviously the Student Senate really has no power, except to occasionally annoy you and fill your e-mail inbox with spam. We decided to choose both options.” Glicker went on to say that some people think that being on the Student Senate is not worth it, but that “ticking off the entire student populace proves that it most certainly is.”

Political Science professor Edward Richard claims that the Dickinson Student Senate is an incredible anomaly in political structures.

“They have absolutely no power to do anything of substance and yet they think that they are the next Franklin D. Roosevelt giving Dickinson students a New Deal,” Richard said, “I have only seen this kind of delusion in dictators like Saddam Hussein and Kim Jong-Il.”

Print Friendly

Leave a Comment

The Dickinsonian strives to provide a forum for lively and respectful discussion among members of the Dickinson College community. We reserve the right to remove any comments that we do not adhere to our community standards.

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




*

Navigate Right
Navigate Left
  • Student Senate Less Popular Than Actual Senate, Zika Virus

    Showcase

    Track & Field Stays Strong

  • Student Senate Less Popular Than Actual Senate, Zika Virus

    Life & Style

    Letters from Abroad Ciao from Bologna!

  • Student Senate Less Popular Than Actual Senate, Zika Virus

    News

    Class of 2018 Queer Caps Tapped

  • Student Senate Less Popular Than Actual Senate, Zika Virus

    News

    Hundreds of Students Gather to Take Back the Night in Support of Survivors of Sexual Assault

  • Student Senate Less Popular Than Actual Senate, Zika Virus

    News

    W.I.N.D. Hosts Colorful Celebration for Holi

  • Student Senate Less Popular Than Actual Senate, Zika Virus

    News

    Cross-Disciplinary Climate Change Panel Prompts Discussion

  • Student Senate Less Popular Than Actual Senate, Zika Virus

    News

    Event Highlights Gender Discrepancies in Wage Gap

  • Student Senate Less Popular Than Actual Senate, Zika Virus

    News

    “Aliens Among Us:” Panelists Speak on Immigration, Refugee Experiences

  • Student Senate Less Popular Than Actual Senate, Zika Virus

    News

    Greek Life Organizations Sponsor Philanthropy Events on Campus

  • Student Senate Less Popular Than Actual Senate, Zika Virus

    News

    Through the Brew: Visiting Professor Speaks on Beer, History

The student news site of Dickinson College.
Student Senate Less Popular Than Actual Senate, Zika Virus