Let it never be said that the esteemed author of this biannual column of the respectable Trickinsonian dislikes women. Such a thing could certainly not be further from the truth!

However, upon reflection, your dear author did realize that they have spent the preceding four issues of the Trick/Drinkinsonian entirely centered on the homosexual experiences of the founding men of this College. Thus, in the name of feminism, your author decided to take a step back and consider the experiences of the lesbians, who have made their own vital contributions to the history of Dickinson.

In the quest to discover these contributions, your author was delighted and fascinated to discover that the homosexual history of Dickinson, which they have spent so long researching, equally applies to the women of our college’s past as it does to the men. Chiefly, of course, I am referring to the wonderful, the indescribable, Julia Stockton Rush (not to be confused with her descendant, deceased former OceanGate CEO Stockton Rush) and Mary Norris Dickinson. Our condolences to the Rush family, but there’s gay people to discuss.

Just as Julia and Mary’s husbands, Benjamin and John, carried on a clandestine homosexual love affair for the majority of their lives, so did these women. But in an unanticipated turn of events, it seems that none of the four were aware of their marriage partner’s affairs. Instead, a paper trail has emerged which indicates that each set of homosexual lovers obsessively kept their sexuality a secret, which led to anecdotes such as this remarkable excerpt from Benny boy’s diary:

Spent last night at JOHN’S!!! OMG. I can’t believe he invited me over!! It was SO much fun 😉 He’s, like, so totally the hottest person I’ve ever seen. Like, oh my god. But you’ll never guess who else I saw! So, at like three a.m. John and I decided we were hungry so OBVS I volunteered to go down and grab some snacks from the kitchen so I could, like, impress him or whatever. Except, like, I wasn’t sure where anything was? Don’t blame me! It was dark! The servants usually handle all of that, but they were asleep! UGH!

So I was rummaging through the covers trying to find Nerds gummy clusters for John when somebody let out the LOUDEST SCREAM. I almost had a heart attack! But when I spun around and ALMOST DIED of TERROR I was even more shocked. Julia was there!! You know, like my wife?? And then I got really, really scared because SHE doesn’t know that John and I have been hanging out and I feel like that would be, like, soooo awkward. We both kind of stared at each other and she was like, “WHAT are you doing here?” and I panicked so I said that John and I were working on plans for my new college. Which, like, technically John invited me over to do but we got *distracted,* duhhhhh.

I couldn’t see her that well in the dark but she was wearing her favorite nightgown and it kind of looked like she had bruises on her neck. She’s so clumsy!! And you just KNOW she’s gonna expect me to prescribe her some ointment or something for it. Annoying. Anyway, I asked her the same and she said that she was coming downstairs to get some food because she and Mary (John’s wife) have been up with the kids all night who have been fussing. She said Mary needed her help with groping for trout in a peculiar river. Which, like, I thought the trouts were out of the area for the season, but what do I know? Weird! 

Anyway, I’m really glad that Julia and Mary are good friends now. Hopefully they’ll keep each other distracted so I can spend more time with JOHN!! Speaking of, he’s calling me again!!! G2G!! Xoxo.

Of course, Julia and Mary’s relationship was much deeper and more homoerotic that Benjamin Rush ever perceived it to be. They were known to quote Sappho to each other and remarked in letters that they found much more delight and pleasure in the arms of one another than they did her husbands. In the immortal words of Billy Eichner, “Let’s go, lesbians! Let’s go!”