Due to a recent increase in the number of obnoxious gym-goers, the Kline Fitness Center has taken inspiration from a more well-known gym company. This comes via the idea by Planet Fitness of installing “Lunk Alarms” into gyms.

According to Planet Fitness, a lunk is someone who “grunts, drops weights or judges” in the gym. The Kline Center’s new alarms, just like their Planet Fitness counterparts, let off flashing lights and a loud alarm sound reminiscent of an air raid siren.

The alarms have had mixed results in their impact on the campus community. While going off at intended times, such as when one drops their weights or gives a side eye to a fellow gym-goer minding their business, the alarm has also gone off at points it should not.

“I was the first one here in the morning on the treadmill, and it just started going off at me. I don’t know what I did, maybe I was going too fast,” said a student who wished to stay anonymous so as not to be perceived as a lunk.

Far more than anywhere else for no clear reason, the Squash Center has seven Lunk Alarms installed. The alarms in this room seem to go off constantly, regardless of whether anyone is currently occupying the space. Athletics staff are unsure why this happens, but they are currently in the works to fix the malfunction.

The fear of being seen as a lunk has permeated through campus. Liv Ammon ’26 said “I have a friend who saw a guy set off the lunk alarm. The dude was taken out back, and my friend hasn’t seen him since. Now I’m terrified to even go to the gym.”

Athletics has also considered taking this lunk-awareness campaign outside of the gym. Biddle Field and the football team have been a focal point of this movement, due to their “off-the-charts” levels of “lunkiness” according to a panel of lunkologists.

However, some students have concerns around further implementation of the alarms. “Put them on Biddle. Are you kidding me? You’d be able to see and hear the place from space if you did that,” said one concerned student-athlete.