Letters from Abroad

Passport to Poland

I’m down to my last six weeks in England. I have hit the point where I begin to reflect on my time, get a bit sentimental, start to cherish everything possible and realize that I desperately do not want to leave. At this point, I have no desire to go back to the States, or home, or even Dickinson. I heard that people start to get excited to go back to see family and friends, which makes sense, but I would much rather stay and have them come to me in Norwich. Ever since I got here I’ve felt at home.

I’m not saying that being abroad changed my life and allowed me to “find myself.” To be honest I didn’t find out anything new, or have a great revelation, but rather I decided to start being myself, and leaving the U.S. was a catalyst for this opportunity. I’ve been able to fully engage in my academic interest, I learned about the glorious combination of beans and toast and I feel comfortable with the English customs. Things here just seem to make sense with my personality.

Many people find all of this in their first year of college, or at some point along the way and never have to go abroad. I happened to fall into the category of people who have to go abroad. Please do not take this as advice to go abroad if you feel stuck because it is not a guaranteed fix. It could help, but it’s not definitely the solution.

There are going to be things that I miss terribly when I come back. There will no longer be pubs on every block, including campus, but at least there is something that kind of, sort of, maybe, possibly, resembles a pub on campus, right? Please just say yes. Less repressed emotions, and more people cutting in line. No more English breakfasts, but at least I can eat proper Mexican food, no more nachos made from Doritos and spray cheese. Also, more flavor in my food. I will be able to watch sports that aren’t football, or some wannabe American football – I’m looking at you rugby. Maybe going back won’t be as bad as I thought.

I do miss the little things about home, and I will be glad to come back, but I am not ready to leave. I am not ready to say good-bye to the people that I have met. I am not ready to leave the accents. I am not ready to start saying dollars. I don’t think I will ever be ready. Leaving abroad is kind of like taking off a band-aid too early. There’s no way to prepare for the inevitable ripping out of hairs, but afterwards it feels better until you look down and realize you’ve taken it off too early and quickly try to find a new one only to discover that you’ve run out and you need to go to the store to get more, but the store is thousands of miles away and costs a thousand pounds dollars to get there. I guess what I’m trying to say in this mashed up post is: studying abroad isn’t for everyone, but once you learn that you love it you really don’t want to leave.