Have you ever wanted something so much, devoted endless time and effort to reaching it, and are still terrified at the prospect of actually getting it? I’m starting to feel that way a lot recently.

For the second year in a row, I am running to be the head of an organization that I love dearly. I had been prepared for all of the different responsibilities this position entails, and I was slightly devastated when someone else was elected. But now I have another shot of achieving this dream, and I have a solid chance at being selected. However, I am floored every time I consider the fact that I might take on this high office.

When I think about the massive amount of responsibility that could possibly be dropped on my shoulders this summer, my stomach drops, and my mind goes blank, and I just stop for a minute. I know that I can do the job if I am given the opportunity to do so, but a part of me questions that knowledge incessantly; and if I allow that part any credence, I balk. Even now, my eyes are watering because the prospect is so overwhelming.

I will not pull myself out of the running, though. I will not let my insecurity be the reason I don’t get the job. I want to do this; I want the responsibilities; I want to make a difference in my organization so much more than I’m scared of messing up.

And as much as it sucks to feel like this right now, I think that you should always feel like this when making big decisions. I have these moments of terror because I care about the organization, and because I want to do well, both of which are very good things.

If you find yourself having a similar experience, don’t let it freak you out too much. Yes, you have a major decision coming up, and you should be nervous about those moments in your life. It happens when you’re about to go on to college, or grad school, or the work force, or the sporting field, or the stage. You know you can do whatever the next challenge is going to entail, but you still have to breathe very slowly to tame the butterflies. We get nervous because we are doing something we care about.
So, I’m breathing easier now, and I know that I can handle the responsibilities if I earn the opportunity. On the other hand, I also know that my nerves are not completely gone. But hopefully next time they hit, I’ll handle it a little better because I know why my stomach just suddenly disappears.