When rapper and producer Mac Miller died this Friday of an apparent overdose, it took less than an hour for people to start blaming Miller’s ex-girlfriend, Ariana Grande. The hashtag #ArianaKilledMac was trending on twitter as supposed fans of Mac flooded Ariana’s mentions with horrible comments about her role in his death. Fans speculated that Ariana Grande’s recent engagement to comedian Pete Davidson exacerbated Mac’s mental health issues and caused him to sink deeper into his substance abuse. As a fan of Mac Miller I was saddened to see his death be minimized and weaponized like this. 

As tragic as Mac Miller’s untimely death was, it was a result of his actions alone. Mac Miller publicly struggled with substance abuse and mental health issues for years. In the end, his personal demons killed him, not Ariana Grande or anyone else. The idea that Ariana Grande would have anything to do with the death of her ex is sexist, cruel and an insult to Mac Miller’s legacy. 

Thankfully, the social media trolls met almost immediate push back and people were quick to come to Ariana’s defense. Even so, the knee-jerk reaction to blame a woman for the actions of her ex-boyfriend speaks volumes to our society and the way we view the role of women in relationships. It’s upsetting that we are so quick to criticize a woman for the mistakes of the men in their lives yet we seem to constantly allow men’s reputations to escape unscathed. It is especially disappointing when you consider that people are citing Ariana’s public engagement and happiness as the reason Mac Miller excessively used drugs. Ariana and Pete are allowed to be happy and their happiness should never be used as ammunition to bash Ariana’s character and put blame on her. 

The most disgusting part, in my opinion, is the fact that expecting women to bear the burden of their male partners poor decisions is nothing new!  Rolling Stone calls this phenomenon the “Yoko Effect”, wherein a female is expected to answer for the actions of her high profile companion. Celebrities like Yoko Ono and Courtney Love were attacked for the demons of their male counterparts in the past. When we use women as scapegoats for men’s poor behavior, we are distracted from the actual issues. In this case, it’s easier to attribute  Mac Miller’s death to Ariana Grande than to accept that our society doesn’t do a good enough job of talking about substance abuse and mental health. 

For the record, this extends far past Hollywood celebrities. Everyday, women are expected to keep their male partners from doing something foolish, then blamed when they inevitably do it anyway. Men are autonomous beings and it is certainly not a women’s responsibility to save men from themselves! I’m disappointed that Ariana is receiving such ugliness from the fandom that should be sending her the most love. In social media tributes, Mac Miller is described as loving and unconditionally kind. 

If these fans really loved Mac and cared about his legacy, they would respect Ariana and try to exemplify the loving nature Mac was so famous for. As a society, we have to stop blaming women for the self-destructive behaviors of those around them and start actually addressing the roots of those actions.