I’m not even the biggest ice cream fan, but I wouldn’t mind getting an acai bowl every so often in the Caf. Unfortunately, I am deterred by a myriad of causes.

First, getting ice cream is a group effort. I stand guard as my shorter friends are bent over double, reaching into the cooler, trying to make the task look a little less stupid. It’s a hopeless endeavor, but at least there’s someone ready in case someone falls in.That’s a reasonable concern, right? The main reason is just to have someone to keep you company throughout the ordeal, though, because getting ice cream in the Caf is comically difficult.

As another reason to work together, while you struggle, you also need someone to fend off the growing, impatient line. You would think the struggle would bring people together, but the rudest I’ve seen people be in the Caf is over the ice cream line. It’s cutthroat. You need at least a second person to play defense, and god help you if you mistake someone in line for someone playing support. Everybody’s waited too long for that.

Then it’s also just so hard to get the ice cream out. While you look stupid and while people wait on you, you have to struggle against ice cream frozen to sub-arctic temperatures, scraping one tiny shred of ice cream at a time with a scoop kept in questionably murky lukewarm water. I’ve been told that the idea is to keep the scoop hot so it cuts through the ice cream easily, but the current storage system just looks like a health hazard. I hope that’s not an allergy issue for anyone. But if you can ignore that, actually getting a decent serving out of the icy depths of the cooler takes so long it’s ridiculous, and it compounds every other issue.

This is, of course, not to hate on any Caf employees. They’re just doing their best, and no one’s stationed next to the ice cream cooler anyway. Maybe that’s why waiting in line for it feels like the wild west. But maybe all this struggle makes the ice cream taste sweeter. It’s certainly a hard-won treat. I’ll stick with either soft-serve or the juice bar, though.