A recent survey by Dickinson’s Media Board has found that less than 1% of Dickinson first years as well as less than 2% of the entire student body (most of them working at The Square) knew what The Square is (or was).

When asked about The Square, Frank Todd ’19 said, “Isn’t that the dancing club? Like they do square dancing right?” Lisa Bender ’19 said, “Is that the place where the Dickinson seal is? Oh wait, isn’t that Britton Plaza…”

Weighing in on the slow death of The Square, Dickinson archivist Mark Johnson remarked, “While The Square has always been the weakest publication on campus, with a low readership made up primarily of the hipsters who publish this rag, this is an embarrassment to Dickinson College. And we have James Buchanan and Rosie O’Donnell as alumni.”

The Square was originally founded as an outlet for whiny hipsters who did not have the requisite grammar and writing skills for The Dickinsonian. Obviously, this did not set up the publication for a successful future.

When asked to comment on The Square’s unspectacular demise, Kyle Singer ’16 said, “I feel like I should have an opinion on this, but I don’t. Whatever.”

The current editor of The Square refused to comment on this story and was said to be looking for a job as a barista in a coffee shop for the homeless.

The editor of The Dickinsonian did happily provide this comment: “We miss you, come back. How are we supposed to have prime examples of sub-par writing.”