Noting ‘a bit of a paradox’ in his data, Nicholas Lehman, Director of Institutional Research, announced on Monday that a recent study by his office found that the average Dickinson student sacrifices 100 hours of productivity each week complaining about everything they have to do.

Lehman says that the study surveyed 500 students of different class years, income brackets, races and genders, and the data ‘overwhelmingly’ suggest that students spend most of their waking hours griping about all their homework, part-time jobs and meeting schedules. 

According to Lehman, other cherished pastimes of Dickinson students include bitching, kvetching, commiserating and ultimately shirking commitments they make voluntarily.

“It’s kind of powerful, if you think about it,” Lehman said. “The diversity of our study group suggests that whining about your work is a custom that transcends typical social divisions and really unites us all.”

This finding could carry important implications for improving social interactions on campus.

“If you’re ever at a loss for what to say to someone who seems different from you, it’s always a safe bet to talk about your poor, overworked self,” Lehman said.

Lehman said the survey also collected data about how many hours students actually spend working, but admitted that he did not have a concrete number ‘off the top of [his] head.’ When asked how that figure compared to the time reportedly spent complaining, the most specific estimate he could offer was ‘a lot less.’