(American) politics has always been funny, a sentiment that’s getting more and more difficult to accept as the days of the government shutdown tick by. To distract myself from the banners on every .gov website blaming the woke left for the shutdown of the Republican-majority government that make it increasingly more difficult to do my homework, I’ve devised a list of Halloween costumes that are cutting edge and perfect for you and a loved one to utilize this Halloweekend: 

1. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and the Worm that lives in his brain 
2. George W. Bush and the journalist who threw shoes at him, (also possibly the shoe?)
3. Sexy Watergate burglar 
4. Hilary Clinton and the Refrigerator from the average apartment she visited 
5. Jimmy Carter and a Playboy Bunny (he was interviewed by Playboy in 1976)
6. “Sleepy Joe” — Joe Biden in a nightgown, nightcap, with a candle 
7. Mike Pence and the Fly from the 2020 VP Debate 
8. Donald Trump and “Concepts of a Plan” 
9. Lyndon B. Johnson and a Little Girl holding a daisy  
10. Marjorie Taylor Greene and a Bowl of Gazpatcho
11. Bonus: Tucker Carleson and the (neutered) Green M&M

Now, these are just eleven brilliant ideas for this upcoming weekend. Unparalleled opportunities to be creative; it’s crazy what a corset from Amazon and a wig can do for you. Ever since I watched a kid put white yarn in his hair and say “I did not have relations with that woman” and watched Melissa McCarthy impersonate Sean Spicer on SNL, I knew it was my calling to go the political route with my costumes. Persoanlly, while I have seven costumes planned for two days, I’m leaning towards the ever-topical Bill from the Schoolhouse Rock certified earworm “I’m Just a Bill.” Make your costume so niche that the adults who ask you what you are will meet your answer with a thousand-yard stare as they flash back to the headlines on the news. Allow America’s culture of ludacris politicians to be your costume, purse your lips like the Commander-in-Chief. Nothing like a sprinkle of political referential criticism to ring in Halloweekend!