In the most recent edition of the Square, that organization took responsibility for contacting Etsy witches to curse members of the Dickinsonian’s editorial board, so that harm would befall them.
However, the organization did not claim responsibility for the mass murder of Dickinsonian leadership. This is highly suspicious as it is unlikely that they would make sure of a legal risk without going “all the way,” said one of the few surviving members of the Dickinsonian.
Since that statement, the Square has been silent and made no comment as memorials have been held and mourners have gathered for several candle lit vigils on campus.
Additionally, the results of excellent investigative reporting on behalf of the remaining Dickinson staff, a payment statement has been uncovered linking the Square and an Etsy Witch.
What is especially revealing about this transaction statement is the specific Etsy Witch, who claims to channel the spirit of Dickinson founder Benjamin Rush, offers “hexes” that will result in car crash related deaths. Given the piece of information, the claims of the square that a hex could not possibly cause this kind of damage seems like a straw man argument.
Through further investigative reporting, our investigators have pinpointed the event that inspired the mass murder this fall, and all sources point to Spring of 2025. The marriage and swift divorce of the Dickinsonian and the square last spring left lingering resentments between the two publications.
Since then, the Dickinsonian moved on and had relationships with the ghost of John Dickinson and the Benjamin Rush statue. According to sources from inside the square, these recent relationships have provoked jealousy at the Square, and inspired murmurs of possible further action against the Dickinsonian.
Due to these safety concerns DPS has instated 24/7 protection for all surviving members of the Dickinsonian.
Moving forward, the Dickinsonian is hoping to recruit President John E. Jones III to the investigative team and uncover evidence so that the Square can be brought to justice.
